3, 2, 1, we came to
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poison your water supply and burn your crops
dear people with high grades, a regular fitness regime and a pleasant social life: do you still have the number of that demon you made a deal with because i’d really like to get in touch with them
13 year old me would be terrified and in awe of who i am now
13 year old me didn’t think we’d get this far
I’d fight 13 year old me
these are all true
100% sure im ugly as hell and yet I still expect to be in a relationship with a hot person
it always really bothered me when wait staff ignored me + my friends just because we were young bc we are all really respectful people but the assumption was that we wouldn’t tip
anyway so fast fowards to when i became a waitress and one day this group of scrubbyass kids came in and i had 8 other tables with other people to look to but i overheard that one kid wanted a milkshake but he couldn’t afford it and the other kids offered to pay but he was like “nonono it’s fine” and i looked over and he just looked real run down and sad and stuff —- later it just so happened that our kitchen had a mixup so we had an extra shake and since it would just be dumped otherwise, i snuck it out to their table and gave it to him for free
and his friends were so fucking impressed by this they pooled every fucking cent they had i got a $50 tip and later his friend’s mom came in and said “i heard what you did for that boy” and gave me another 20 and offered me a better job working with her
and meanwhile at my other table a rich white guy i was serving complained bc he didn’t want to pay the 15% tip on a $8.90 bill and when his wife said “she’s been a good waitress, though,” he said, “but just plain good isn’t worth 15%”
damn
DANG
This is still one of my favorite stories
i wonder if anyone notices that i only wear like three pairs of pants
Day 1 of gay marriage being legal:
No apocalypse, no fire, no destruction…really nothing has changed.
Except now there’s millions of happier people
